Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
