I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
