I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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