this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
