I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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