Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
