I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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