great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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