Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
