How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
