i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
