I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
