i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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