Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize