is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
