Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
