I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
