Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
