life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
