Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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