Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
