Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
