Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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