how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
