I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
