So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
