woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
