Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
