I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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