We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
