But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
