Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
