They should really pass out barf bags in church
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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