whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
