What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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