I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
