I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize