My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
