Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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