on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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