he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
