My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You took a bar mat shot.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
