So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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