my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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