sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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