Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
