i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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