Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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