tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
