but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
