dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
