Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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