You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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