Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
