Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
