Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Green mimosas i think yes
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize