you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
