i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
