my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
