i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize