Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
