No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
