he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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