your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
